A Mackem in Skunksville. A story by Gary.
Yesterday at about 4.40pm I arrived in Skunksville. Now I have to say, as Cities go, it is a real city. It is the focal point of the North East and a vibrant place.
We walked up Pink Lane and eyed a bar called Rafferty's . We went in ordered drinks and I noticed about 4 men wearing hideous black and white striped shirts. After a couple of sips of beer and a toast to Titus Bramble, the pub quickly filled up with the unwashed.
Mrs DP thought we were stood next to Mike Ashley, then we noticed that there were 200 Mike Ashleys in the pub.We promised each other we would burn our coats today, so many skunks brushed past or bumped into us.
I noticed a couple of groups of lads that I vaguely knew and sure enough, one of them asked out loud what a Mackem was doing in here. After being told to have a word with himself ( by Mrs DP !)we supped up and left.
We went into Newgate Street and entered The Gate which was lit up and looked great from the outside.I t looked great from the inside too with all it's bars and eating places.
We went into Mood bar and Mrs DP was soon in a mood as we asked for a pint of John Smiths and 2 glasses of wine at £3.15 each and you keepthe bottle.That wine offer was not on says the sexy barmaid.What! says the equally sexy (ahem) Mrs DP why then is it advertised on the wall ?
After a brief flurry of expletives we got what she wanted ! Tere was a sign on the wall saying Home of The Toon and a sign above the toilets saying "LOOS" to which some wag had added ERS !
I have to say every bar and every dinery was packed to the rafters and it was still only 5.30pm !
After an hour in there we ventured outside and walked to the Bigg Market. We decided we were too posh to drink here along with hundreds of black and white half wits so we moved on to Grey Street and entered a delightful Wine bar called Luga opposite Fitzgerald's.
Met some lovely couples in there going to see Paul Weller at The Arena. After an hour in their company we left, shared a kebab( classy or what) and entered the Tyne Journal theatre at about 7.45pm to find The Christians had come on stage at 7.30pm prompt. What !?
They did an acoustic set which was good but not brilliant. They had a break then finished at 9.50pm. Our taxi was booked at 11.15pm.
We went into The Lounge opposite the station and I indulged in a bit of totty watching
as you do.I couldn't help but burst into song a couple of times to the tune of When Johnny Comes Marching Home..........
He Likes His Flashy Underwear, Cisse Cisse !
He has Designer Facial Hair, Cisse Cisse !
He'll score a goal with half a chance,
We'll never send him back to France.
Djibril Cisse, Sunderland's Number 9 !!!
Paul Weller kicked out at 11.05pm and thousands more eneterd the bars while we got outr taxi home and I watched the Lads on Football First singing " He likes his Flashy Underwear, Cisse Cisse !!"
Got up this morning and burnt our coats.
Gary