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Some Amusement from Socialism
https://mail.paphospeople.com/ppforum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1995		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  John [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Some Amusement from Socialism
Hi All

This is meant to be amusing OK? My daughter studying politics just sent me this.

(well it amused me !!)

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour


COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.



BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the

milk away...



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire

on the income



SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons



AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.



ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters

of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to

a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who

sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on

one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving

you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.



FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you

want three cows.



JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and

market it worldwide.



GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and

milk themselves.



ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.



SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.



BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.



IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your

country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...



AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
Author:  shar-pei [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
Hi.

Cypriot cows?



Jill.
Author:  Pete [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
:rofl :madcow
Author:  Molly [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
There's got to be a good answer to that somewhere Jill. :lol: :lol:
Author:  Pete [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
Cypriot Corporation

You have two cows,
You lets them roam,
You find them dead,
Due to being poisoned by Lanate :shock:
Author:  shar-pei [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
Hi Molly.

Actually I met them today in my shop. :greetings

Jill.

But there has to be better than this!
Author:  shar-pei [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
Hi.

Here's a quizz.....what's this song.

Caw hakki, caw hakki thro thi waata. Hakki is a swell beast and Hakki winnit wey thi waata?


Jill.
Author:  Trollydolly [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
JILL what are you on -- whatever it is take more WAATA wi it. Is it some kind of Geordie code known only to the toon army. Marj :lol: :lol:
Author:  Yogafan_Pam [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
John wrote:

Quote:
This is meant to be amusing OK? My daughter studying politics just sent me this.


Very funny - now I know we truly do have a bunch of clowns in the House of Commons :!: :lol:

Pam 8)
Author:  John [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
Pam

I don't think that MP's actually produced these snippets but if they see them then they might see the funny side too.
Author:  discopants [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
On the other hand they may well not !
Gary :?
Author:  John [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Some Amusement from Socialism
Hi Gary

May be not.........you are right................but I think that I will get away with it because not many MP's read Paphos People !!
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