Paphos People

DECISIONS

Throughout your formative years up to the age of say sixteen, you should never have to make decisions, not life changing ones anyway. The schools you went to were decided by where you all lived as a family, where we lived and what we ate was decided by Mum and Dad where we went for holidays the same. All you had to do was follow the rules.
Then you got there, sixteen and you knew it all. Your parents had no idea about life. You had an engineering apprenticeship, in five years you would be a skilled man with the world at your feet. You followed the straight road you had been given.
The youth culture at that time was either Mods or Rockers. Mods had scooters, up to date fashionable clothes, went to discos, they spent a lot of money looking good. Rockers had motorbikes, a leather jacket and jeans went to the pub with their mates. This was the first fork in your road, which was the way to go? Since you were on very low wages being an apprentice you chose the latter. You were more comfortable in that environment anyway. First lifestyle decision made.
The social life you led was very amenable and you were quite happy. Then it happened, you met a girl. She didn’t like motorbikes, or your mates or the pub culture which you liked. But she did like you and you liked her. Another fork in the road which way to go? Taking the long term prospects into consideration you opt for the girl and everything that went with it, driving lessons, a car, a relationship, saving together to get married. You drift away from one life and into another. Second lifestyle decision made.
Down the marriage road you go, straight as a die, you are both earning good money now and having a good time together, what next? Buying a house that will take every penny you both have or do you carry on enjoying life as it is. Another fork in the road you choose the ‘sensible’ option and plunge yourselves up to your necks in debt. Third lifestyle decision made.
You are both struggling to live the new life, when suddenly fate takes a hand. Pregnancy! Your life will now change forever. Responsibilities, your next fork in the road has a no entry sign on one side, and you swerve unsteadily on an unknown path to your destiny whatever that may be. Fourth lifestyle decision has been made, but not by you.
Just as you feel like you are getting on top of life, you produce another baby, a girl, that’s one of each. All is well for a couple of years then you need a bigger house, in a better area for the catchment area of a good school. It’s a good job you’ve got a good job. Next thing you know the kids are at school and your wife resumes work. Things get easier financially and life is very enjoyable once more. Then fate throws another spanner in the works. You meet this woman she is very attractive, exciting and so different from your humdrum existence. This is what you have been looking for. You stand at the latest fork in the road and finally make your choice. Fifth lifestyle decision but was it the right one?
Careering down the high speed road to oblivion with your new found love at your side, you try an impossible balancing act. Facing up to your responsibilities and paying for your previous existence while trying to satisfy the demands of your new life. Your kids become ‘Sunday at the park with dad’ children. Your girlfriend goes off on her own somewhere on Sundays and you take your offspring back to what was your house all three of you tired and emotional. After a few months of this the kids don’t want to know any more. The girlfriend is cooling off towards you and spends more time with her friends.
Standing at the next fork in the road, you look up at the signpost. One way it points to a solitary existence, the loner in the pub, Billy no mates. A small flat somewhere, paying for everything that your family is enjoying while you are not part of it. Misery and regrets doom and gloom. The other way points to the way back, sorry, the looks of mistrust from everyone who knew you. Her friends who don’t want to know you anymore and some of your friends will be the same. Children can, in innocence, break your heart with a comment about when you weren’t there for an important occasion in their lives. Do you deserve any forgiveness?
Which decision should you make now?