I was sent this by the ever funny Karen and thought i'd
share it with you all:
Shower Like A Lady
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry
basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown
If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look in the mirror at your womanly physique-make mental note
to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts,etc.
Get in shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah
and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and
sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again
to ensure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot
facial scrub for 10minutes until red. wash entire body with
ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off
hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off
all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with tile cleaner
get out of shower. Dry with Towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom
wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see
partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
You will love this ladies
Shower like A Man...........
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see partner
along the way, shake willy at her making the "Woo-Woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
Willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face.
Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash
your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a shampoo mohican. Wee. Rinse off get out
of shower. Partly dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
was hanging out of the bath the whole time, admire Willy size in
mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light
and fan on. return to bedroom with towel round waist. If you pass
your partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "Woo-Woo"
sound again. throw wet towel on bed.
I Know your laughing because it's true
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