Paphos People

A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver is a real nasty man, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer,
demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc
in rather explicit offensive terms.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the
narrative portion of the ticket.
He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature.
The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and
demands to know what it stands for.

The officer says,
"That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an arm-pit Hole!"

Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his licence, so he hired a big gun lawyer to represent him.

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.

Under cross examination the defence attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile
of the ticket that you issued to my client?"

Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"

"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH" underlined."

"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"

"Aggressive and Hostile, Sir."

"Aggressive and Hostile?"

"Yes, Sir.

"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for arm-pit Hole?"

Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.

True story

Traffic cop giving evidence during a trial of a man accused of speeding.

Defence lawyer asks how the traffic cop could be certain that the accused's vehicle was travelling at more than 30 mph.

Cop replies that given his 30+ years as a driver, his 20+ years as a Police Officer and his 12+ years as a traffic officer, having gained all the qualifications that goes along with that, that in his opinion the vehicle was travelling well in excess of the speed limit.

Lawyer says, so its all about your opinion then, Cope replies yes sir.

Lawyer then throws a pen across the room and asks, Constable, in your opinion, how fast was that pen travelling.

I have no idea sir replies the officer.

But, Constable, you have just told us all about your experience of speed estimation, so how fast do you estimate the pen was travelling at?

I have no idea sir.

Why is that Constable.

Well sir, I have never driven a pen.