Paphos People

THE ARREST

For twenty five years, Bob Forest had been a Police Constable nick-named ‘Woody’ by the CID squad because he had been a ‘wooden top’ uniformed officer for his entire career or was it because of his name.
Woody had always been a reliable, down to earth ‘Bobby’ he had applied for and taken the test to be a pursuit driver, but failed for being too cautious but if you wanted somebody to direct traffic when the lights failed – Woody was your man, in short he cared.
When the CID had an operation going down, volunteers from the uniform division were called in. Woody was always there, breaking down the door with the battering ram or helping load the prisoners into the vans, the overtime came in handy and he felt good that the villains were off the streets. Anything to help the Teeny Sweeny as the wooden tops called the CID.

The one thing Police Constable Bob Forest regretted was that he had never actually made a serious arrest in twenty five years service. Of course he had arrested petty thieves, shoplifters and the like, chased gangs of kids away from the shopping mall when he came round the corner on his bike.
Just to see his name as the arresting officer on a serious charge against somebody important who had overstepped the mark and committed a crime that ‘Woody’ had foiled would have been the icing on the cake.

Detective Inspector Rick Slater had joined at the same time as Bob and was clearly destined for greatness. He ruthlessly soared up through the ranks to uniformed sergeant then into the CID, always in the thick of it he had many arrests to his name. In short he was a ‘Thief Taker’ and he had ‘lorded’ it over the wooden tops who he regarded as the lowest of the low.
After a long shift the CID usually went to the local pub to celebrate or commiserate about the day’s work ending up very often the worse for drink but they always drove home thinking they were untouchable.
One night Woody spotted Slater staggering towards his car.
“Do you think that’s a good idea sir?”
Slater stopped
“What’s it got to do with you CONSTABLE?” the way he said the word was challenging.
“I’m just pointing out sir..”
“Well don’t ‘just point out’ Constable, I outrank you and don’t you forget it. I could make things very difficult for you if you stir it up for me.”
Incidents like that made Woody feel glad that he only had a few months until his retirement.

Finally the big day came, P.C. Bob Forest retired. He had already got a new job with a security company with whom he had past experiences as an investigating police officer. His last day was full of congratulations from everybody, everybody that was except Detective Inspector Rick Slater, who was too busy to bother with a wooden top’s retirement.
The superintendant came down to officially present Bob with a certificate commemorating his exemplary twenty five years service.
As he shook hands with the ‘Super’ Woody invited him to his celebration drink in the local pub that evening, not expecting for one minute that he would appear.
At seven that evening, the entire uniformed department that were available assembled in the pub to give ‘Woody’ the best send off.
Bob’s wife was there with his two sons. Also present on a table in the corner was the Teeny Sweeny brigade, celebrating the arrest of a well known local villain after a long and successful operation.
The highlight of the night for Bob was the appearance of the superintendant at the end of the evening, congratulating the retiring P.C. and wishing him the best of luck in his new career.
The low point of Bob’s evening was when the Teeny Sweeny table got up to leave and a drunken Slater stopped.
“Well Woody, thanks for everything, but most of all thanks for getting out of my hair for ever.”
This was received with disgust and silence by all of Bob’s mates.
Still chuckling at his wit, Slater left the pub and headed for his car.
Bob followed him at a distance, waited while Slater struggled to get the key into the lock and got in, then he stepped forward. As the engine started he rapped on the driver’s window. Down it came.
“What the hell do you want?’
Woody took a deep breath.
“I’m arresting you sir on suspicion of being over the legal limit of alcohol to allow you to drive this vehicle safely.”
“I’ve warned you, I outrank you, you little pillock, now clear off and get out of my way.”
Woody took another deep breath.
“You used to outrank me sir, but I have just made a citizen’s arrest and if you try and leave before a police officer attends you are committing an offence under section 24A of the Police and Criminal evidence act.”

Slater exploded!
“Get out of the way you stupid Pratt.”

“Thank you Bob, I’ll take over from here”
The Superintendant had followed them both after seeing the state Slater was in.
“Detective Inspector Slater, I am arresting you on suspicion of being under the influence of alcohol while in control of a motor vehicle. Please surrender your warrant card and wait for the police vehicle which is going to take you into custody.”

“Well done Mr Forest will you give evidence against the defendant?” he said with a smile.
“Of course Sir” said Bob swelling up with pride.