Paphos People

THE MASKED PHILANDERER

The following story is fictional any similarity with real people or places is purely coincidental.

The masked ball was in full swing and there were many high ranking members of the government and civil servants eating drinking and making merry. The attendees were wearing masks to prevent being recognized, photographed and prosecuted for breaking the strict isolation rules.
Everybody was wearing latex masks of famous people, Ronald Reagan was very popular along with Elvis and Edward Heath, Margaret Thatcher was by far in the majority among the ladies, being a conservative hero that she was.
The remainder wore masks of people that nobody knew anyway, it looked like an edition of Spitting Image back in the nineteen eighties but it gave them a feeling of anonymity to safely carry on as they pleased.
One latecomer was a great hit with the ladies, dancing the night away with any spare Margaret Thatcher that was available, wearing of course a Boris Johnson mask! He had on a blue (what other colour?) sweatshirt with BONKING BORIS emblazoned on the back in bright red letters.
As the night wore on and more alcohol was consumed, “Boris” managed to pull three Maggie Thatchers and one Theresa May, disappearing into a side office, then reappearing some twenty minutes later to rejoin the mayhem. They jigged and jogged around the cabinet room, swigging champagne from the bottle and munching canapés and various delicious savoury treats from silver trays spread around the table. Many trysts were arranged for the future, but who was meeting who?
Eventually, one by one, the party goers collapsed on to the floor or into a chair full up with pate de foie gras, asparagras, oysters and other aphrodisiacs. The champagne had run dry as the last man standing dropped to his knees like a felled ox, ‘Boris’ of course he had eaten, drunk and bonked the night away. There they all lay or sat intertwined in a drunken heap.
At about five o clock in the morning, Drowning Street was suddenly ablaze with blue flashing lights as an army of police officers charged into the building. They burst into the scene of drunken Ronald Reagans, Maggie Thatchers all oblivious to what was going on.

Chief Superintendant Bob Barker stood in front of everybody
“You lot are all nicked for contravening covid isolation regulations.
Please take off your masks and identify yourselves to my officers and you will be charged.”

Boris was on his knees and looked up at Chief Superintendant Barker with a quizzical look.

“What mask?” he asked.