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THE TALE OF ROBIN HOOD
“The nerve of the man” was the general opinion of the landed gentry about the exploits of the infamous Robin Hood. He had a reputation of being a ‘man of the people’, robbing the rich of their gold and jewellery giving it to the poor. The problem with that was that the poor had great difficulty in spending gold coins, worth a small fortune, in exchange for what they wanted which only cost about a penny. Jewellery was very pretty but of no use to them.
The result was that the rich got poor and the poor got cash rich so much so that the rich sold their grand houses to the former poor people for pennies. Robin then turned his attention to the neuveau riche and started to rob them giving the ill gotten gains to the former rich people who were now poor. Cries of “The nerve of the man” rang out from the former poor people, who because Robin Hood had stopped financing them soon became poor again!
The new rich and the new poor were fed up with their seesawing fortunes, so they had a meeting. The opinion of the conference was that the so-called ‘Man of the People’ was totally misguided and a control freak. “The nerve of the man thinking that he was in control of the population’s wealth through robbery and violence” The former rich and former poor citizens decided that there was enough gold to keep them all in a comfortable existence. So they distributed the wealth between them and set up one of the first banks in merry old England, offering loans to farmers and financing business ventures which provided jobs for the masses.
Meanwhile Robin Hood carried on robbing people but having nobody to give it to, kept it. “The nerve of the man” everybody cried “pinching our hard earned cash”.
They finally decided that something should be done about the men of Sherwood in Lincoln green. The next time somebody had a substantial amount of cash to move, the army was following at a discreet distance. “Hold fast and deliver your cash to me” Robin demanded with his band of men around him, long bows at the ready.
“You’ve got a nerve stealing from us, when you gave us the money in the first place” said the merchants.
“That may be so but you abused the wealth I gave you, spending it on stuff and enjoying yourselves with your lavish lifestyle” said Robin “Nobody gave a stuff about us living in the open forest without a proper roof over our heads, living off squirrels nuts and berries, it’s not very nice in the winter you know. So give me your money and let us be rich as well”.
At this point the army performed a pincer movement closing in on both sides and Robin Hood and his merry men, having nowhere to run, were all captured. The first recorded case in England of a TRAPPED NERVE!
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