Paphos People

In aug 07 we just arrived in our villa, me my mum my sister and brother in law went right outside and put up the parasol, as we was winding it up a giant i mean giant spider fell the the floor with a hard thud,.Where did it go no one knows, as we all run like headless chickens screaming.

I could not believe the size off it, i not fibbing it was the size off my fist and really fat. Now when we come home the parasol stays indoors. It always makes us laugh though when we have a family meeting. If you could see all off us running and fighting to get in to the villa. Even now while i writing this i am in tears with laughter so so so funny.Even my mujm who 60 ran faster than me, she was the first one in the villa

Well in 1992 (i think) we were on Aphrodite's beach (not far from Latchi) minding our own business as you do. A german family turned up on the beach with kites as it was quite windy that day. The father went and tied one of the kites to the roof bar of their jeep and came back with the other one and a Lilo.......next he jumps on the Lilo, kite in one hand and is pulled out to sea very fast with the strength of the wind...silly sod didnt let go of the kite and ended up a long way out....as you can imagine we were all on the floor laughing....wish we had had a camcorder as we would have sent it to the late Jeremy Beadle. Anyway the lifeguard had to go and bring him back in the boat because he couldnt swim!!!!!!

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Sam x

why that Twosox do you have a mirror on the other side off you bed

i WAS FEELING RATHER DOWN TODAY, DO NOT KNOW WHY BUT AFTER THESE 2 STORIES AND MY OWN I FEELING ON TOP OFF THE WORLD AGAIN

My favourite (I'm giggling like a school girl as I type) is when two of our good friends came to visit. We took them to Lara Beach (those who know it will understand how secluded it is). Our friend (I'll name no names so he doesn't get embarrassed if you meet him on a future PP night out!) is not a big fan of dogs, a wee bit scared I would even say.

Well we were sunning ourselves on the beach, the boys had just been swimming in the sea and were coming back to dry off when from NOWHERE this dog runs up and rubs itself up and down said friends towel. He was not a happy bunny and we were howling with laughter. All that beach space and so many towels to choose from and it was his - we still take the michael when he comes over!!!

I will always remember one of the many nights spend around a bonfire with our best mates Stuart and Lisa. After initially bonding over fireworks, Gav and Stu were fast running out of wood for the inferno they had created so decided it was time to go hunt and gather UG!

Now, even though my house at the time was detached with an enormous garden all around it and wasteland by the side, it was still in the middle of Bristol! so good fire wood was in short supply! It seemed like the night would have to come to an end when they had managed to get through all the loose tinder and most of my fence panels! but no.... Stuart had a plan, and of he runs....
The next thing we hear is "GAV! I FOUND SOME WOOD! we all trot round to the front of the house to find stuart dangling like an orangutand from the top branch of a tree!!!

I cried with laughter all night, one of the many fantastic nights we have had together and i cant wait for the ones to come! The only issue guys is your pool or ours????

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Ok this one didn't happen in Cyprus but in Teneriffe:
I was there with the family and we decided to go for a picnic up into the hills.
We went to the local supermarket and bought ham, cheese. fruit etc. and a long baguette loaf.
This was all loaded into the hire car and off we went on our day in the hills.
Half way up one particularly winding section of road we came upon a parking/view point on the side of the road. There was already a coach pulled over and we joined it to take some photo's
I got out opened the hatch back to get the camera out and unknown to me there was a scruffy looking mongrel behind me. I got the camera an just as I was about to shut the boot the dog nicked the baguette and took of up the road.
Outraged at the mutts cheek I took up pursuit.... Much to the amusement of the tourists in the coach who were splitting their sides to see a mad Englishman chasing and shaking his fist at a dog with a baguette.
God knows what I would have done with the loaf had I caught up with the dog.....
Needless to say my 2 boys thought it was hilarious as well.

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Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want....

I had to go into hospital once for a minor bit of surgery
(nothing dramatic)
When I woke up after the operation, I was laid in bed with just
my backless gown...
now this is the embarrassing bit
Down below I could feel my left testicle twitching,
I look down and saw that it was twitching and jumping like a heart beat..
So I called the 2 nurses over that were standing at the end of the ward chatting,, I asked them to pull the curtain round as I was a bit embarrassed , I then got up from the bed and said to them,
I think I have a problem, I don't think this should be happening..
I lifted the gown and showed them my twitching testicle ..
they bent down , had a look at it for a few seconds, then said,
Hmmm, that does not look right..
wait here, we will get a doctor ....We are only the cleaners

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REACH 1000`s of PAPHOS CUSTOMERS EVERY DAY FOR A FRACTION OF WHAT THE OTHERS CHARGE
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Whilst the optimist and the pessimist argued that the whisky glass was either half full
or half empty ? .
I drank it .....
The opportunist..

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Sounds like you dropped a peanut there Neil !
Gary

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So close yet so far away

Please tell me it has stopped twitching now. I won't know where to look when I see you again.

Verity.

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Verity.

Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

http://coecyp.blogspot.com

When we were building a house in the uk, my hubby and I would visit show homes for ideas, taking with us a camera so we could "click" any nice features we thought we might use.

Anyway, we were viewing this set of houses and had just come out of one and into another. we were standing in the living room, clicking away at a lovely inglenook fireplace. We had those daft blue bags on our shoes so as not to get the place dirty... When the kitchen door opened and out walked this lady with her sunday dinner on a tray !!!!

It wasn't a show house !!!!!! It was her house

We apoligised, said she had a lovely home and scarpered !!

We also used to gatecrash weddings, say the bride looked lovely and just join in with everyone, don't think anyone dare ask who we were. We once did two weddings in one night. Terrible I know... but such fun

Rebel Sam X

very funny stories , you had me in tears. keep them coming

I was working in my local town and busting to go for a wee, they had just brought out the new toilets you know the silly silver metal ones you have to put money in and the door opens. Well i goes in has my wee and i dont know why but i always stand up flush the chain then sort out my jeans so ... i pushed the flush and started pulling up my bottoms etc ... it wasnt the flush button it was the door open button so there i am bare assed in the middle of the bus terminus the worst moment of my life good job it was only older people waiting for their buses

One afternoon my OH was fitting a floor in a house... every so often this orange colored plastic ball kept rolling towards him (one of the kids toys) he in turn kept flicking it out the way with his hand and foot... kids came in from school as he was finishing off... to his surprise the little lad came in the room with his mum with the plastic ball in his hand, Geoff said to him oh its your ball then... and yes it did contain a HAMSTER

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Alison

I remember it well - best bit was he started trying to reason with the dog to try and get it to move: "Come on now, that's enough, you've had your fun" etc....

Didn't work strangely enough!

Ohhhhh tell us his name, who was it We promise not to tell It be our secret Was it Pete or am i barking up the wrong tree here Ok Ok no more silly dog jokes i promise

Not me, I'm not afraid of dogs or I wouldn't have a Husky/German Shepard pup now

Ok Pete not you . I wonder who it was ???? come on spill the beans

Now you've got us all wondering....

Molly

UMMMMMMMM we are still waiting

I'm almost disappointed to say that it was no one on the forum. This was a friend of ours who visits regularly and will probably be out with us on a PP night out at some stage - I think the lad has suffered enough.... or has he!!!!

Another funny thing (well it wasn't for me at the time) we came over to Cyprus to get married and we had arranged for our parents to finally meet each other. We invited them all to the villa we were stopping in. Everyone was a little nervous - apart from my niece. She was only 4 at the time, little bolshy madam. My soon to be father in law was pulling her on one of this little surfboards in the pool and all I hear coming from the angelic little mouth.

"pssssst..... you want a fu**ing bit of this then" shaking a pudgy little fist at my soon to be father in law, whose jaw had literally hit the ground. (imagine as well in a scottish accent - terrifying)

To say the least I think I might have died of sheer mortification.

Thankfully - she's grown out of that type of language, but I'm never allowed to forget!!

One night a couple of years ago I was awoken in the early hours with an itch on the back of my neck. I scratched and a couple of seconds the itch returned. Half asleep I flicked the back of my neck and felt 'something' touch my hand. At the same time hubby lept up and flicked 'something back onto me.

I dived out of bed grabbed for the light and saw the most enormous centipede running around the bed. Hubby knocked it onto the floor and without his glasses ran to the kitchen for some insect spray and a weapon to kill the monster with. He returned armed with furniture polish and a cooking utensil. He proceeded to squirt polish at it with one hand whilst beating it to death with the kitchen utensil whilst I just screamed.
I am so glad that wasn't caught on camera.

Tiggy

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Life is what you make it.

Helen

Pete is your pups mum Snowy, the dog who was thrown out of a truck?

I ask because we have 2 of her pups too!

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To be honest Lolly, I have no idea who Noushka's mother was, as we got her from Pathiakos animal center at 8-10weeks old, if you look at Twosox avatar, you'll see what she looks like but from what we were told, she was a litter of 7, 4 of which the owners were able to give away, the other 3 were handed to the animal center

We went to their open day & she was there with her 2 sisters, both were pure white pups, 1 with brown eyes, the other with blue eyes like Noushka's, so we chose her, as she is so adorable, which it turns out was a lucky choice, as the her 2 sisters died a few weeks later, no fault of Pathiakos I must hasten to say, it was something the blue eye one contracted when she was given to a family after we got Noushka & passed on to her sisiter when they took her back to Pathiakos, it was a shame as they were all so beautiful & if I hadn't been renting, I would have taken all 3 together

Ah thats a shame, they sound like beautiful dogs...

Well at least Noushka found a good home! she looks like a happy pup!

You may remember from the 'other site' there were 6 pups advertised? well their mum was huskey/shepherd cross thats why i asked

We have 2 of her pups waiting for us when we come out, cant wait to see them! apparently they are both trouble makers and eat too much so should be interesting!

Hey we should all get our dogs together for a paphos people pets day out!

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Oh Noushka would love that, she's well up for fighting & playing, especially with bigger huskies

She's already had her head in 2 other Huskies jaws and still want more, not afraid of nothing, she's mad

The thing that has made me laugh the most happened in the UK. It was March but a beautiful day and decided to take the three bichons for a run round Rapheals Park in Romford.

I decided to let them off their leads as it wasn't often they were allowed to do that. There the three of them were really having a fantastic time. Steve said we had better watch out or they will jump in the lake. I replied don't be silly they hate water especially since they have a bath every week. Lo and behold Disa was getting a bit too excited and just took a flying leap (I don't think she could see the water over the edge) and went six feet into the pond. Now Steve knew that bichons can't swim as their coats drag them down. I wasn't panicking as she was trying to get back to the edge even after she went down twice, but Steve jumped in to "save" her. Now bear in mind that this is not the cleanest of ponds with gawd knows what in the bottom. Well when they both got out they stunk to high heaven. I just could not see for laughing so much. We then had a long walk back to the van but Steve was wearing jeans and between walking like he had s..t himself and his boots squeaking with the water in them I just kept laughing. Everyone we passed wondered what was wrong until they saw a rather green looking bichon.

On finally getting back to the house, I would not let Steve in and made him strip out in the garden and leave his clothes in the garage whilst I just took Disa in and dumped her in the bath.

It really was a sight for soar eyes.

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"Your dog is your friend, your partner, your defender. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true until the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"

brilliant "friend of the wife story..."

my wife's mate was on holiday in spain sunbathing topless, next to a german woman doing the same.

after a couple of minutes, the german lady's young todler son came running up the beach, and decided that it was time for a good old fashion "feed" and clamped his mouth on the german ladys breast...


... except it wasn't his mum! she was about twenty feet away!

cue crazy screaming germans, crying child, and brits p*ssing themselves!

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poolpeople
aka
the golden hi-lux
aka
zeusfc

another one...


an old friend of mine was conducting a staff meeting in the management conference room at "Dunne and Bradstreet" in High Wycombe... a huge mirrored monolith beside john lewis on the M40.


it was a hot summer day at the start of henley regatta, and the traffic had built up at the junction.

suddenly a couple of teenage girls jumped out their car, scurried down the embankment next to the window, and proceeded to relieve themselves right on the mirrored window, completely unaware that the mirrored windows actually hid people!

hard to concentrate on the staff meeting after that!

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poolpeople
aka
the golden hi-lux
aka
zeusfc