Paphos People

I've got things to do later, but you know what they say about idle hands :-

A sign in the Bank reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using these
facilities are requested to use the procedures outlined below when gaining
access to their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window
with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check
book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting
behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake....

should start the fur flying

Alastair

_________________
Alastair

Nil illigitimae carborundum

those claws will be out for you now

The handbag thing is totally true - how many times have you been stuck behind a woman in the queue at the supermarket, and she acts surprised when she gets asked for money!! I mean, surely they know this is going to happen, so why wait until the last possible minute to start rooting around for your purse??

And then, when you finally think the ordeal is almost over, they get their change and have to put every single piece of it back into exactly the correct compartment - just chuck it in there man woman and sort it out into denominations later if you absolutely must!!

We ladies will rise above it. As long as you men keep giving us your plastic we can take your purile sense of humour with good grace.

Verity.

_________________
Verity.

Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

http://coecyp.blogspot.com

At last another person who feels like me , all I want is to pay for my papers at the kiosk as I go to work , there they are , getting lottery tickets , ciggies , rolling papers et al , then the hunt for money .

_________________
Mike.

Live each day as if it's your last ,
cos one day it will be .

I agree Verity

Let the guys have their rant and we wise women will rise above it all knowing that the reason for these difference is something to do with multi tasking and right side of male brains.

Chris

_________________
"If you haven't got a plan, you don't have a map. If you don't have a map, you'll never find the treasure!"

Someone said to me once , men do only one thing at a time , BUT we do it right .

_________________
Mike.

Live each day as if it's your last ,
cos one day it will be .

Is that what she told you Mike
Meg Ryan springs to mind!! When Harry met Sally!

_________________
Angels fly because they take themselves lightly
http://www.sirenasunrise.me.uk

I have a t-shirt in the house somewhere that says on the front 'The reason I don't look busy is because I did it right the first time' I use to where it to work a lot

Mike,
As someone who occassionaly works in one of those kiosks, men are the worst. First they bring out a pocket full of change, look at it, start to count it out ,get almost to the correct amount, sniff, put it back in to said pocket, then extract wallet from back pocket and produce a note! More change to add to already full pocket. Need I say more? Sue.

_________________
Dawn
~Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly~

Well if I need to change a note it will be in my hand ready , and if its coins I will have over the odds for the papers and a sandwich that are my daily puchase . Then maybe I'm just to good .


This morning there were about 8 people queing for the till , at the front a lady is cashing a winning scratch card , gets the money , then proceed to buy another one , more fumbling , then has to pay for the paper she forgot she had picked up , result , a longer queue of us with just a couple of items , I would have gone to an ordinary till but even at 10-00 there were only three open and all with queues at them so it was a no hoper anyway .

Never mind better luck tomorrow .

_________________
Mike.

Live each day as if it's your last ,
cos one day it will be .

You have made me laugh out loud this morning, Mandy. Fancy that scene springing to mind.

Verity.

_________________
Verity.

Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

http://coecyp.blogspot.com

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.



The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.



They were unable to decide who would let go, until the woman gave a very touching speech.



She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids and for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.



As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.



Nuff said.

_________________
Verity.

Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

http://coecyp.blogspot.com

That funny Starchild